A Home Outside

Its cold we say, its dark we say and its full of dangerous unknowns we say and we are right. There is the unknown of the physical- our immediate environment and then there is the unknown of the unseen or in other words our minds. When going through a really tough time, my brother said something to me which I will never forget, he said there is no such thing as a full mind, that the human mind is larger than the universe because just as the universe is infinite, our mind is also infinite and just as cold, dark and unknown as our immediate environment if we don’t light it up ourselves.

The key word there is ‘ourselves’. There is something amazing about standing in the strength that comes from within or in other words our own strength built on solid foundation, the question is ‘what is your foundation built on?’ My brother, again, told me from an article he had read that solitude is not about being alone with no one around, it is about being at peace within yourself, standing in your own principles and convictions that are right and well-placed because misguided principles and conviction creates a dissonance which leads to confusion. This is where the problem lies, we tend to stand on the strength we gather from people, the feelings they bring out in us, these people can be our family, our friends, etc.

This drawing of strength from others leads to dependency and dependency creates expectations and expectations can sometimes bring disappointment. When this disappointment sets in, we turn to other people to begin the process again, making your home outside by practically living off the the assurance you get from people. This can be dangerous because people have their lives, they have their own different problems and cannot help you solve yours all the time. The realization of that unsettles you and you find that the home you have built outside doesn’t have a solid foundation, its cold, its dark and its dangerous and suddenly you don’t feel safe anymore there and that realization is all you need to step on the right track.

Standing in your own strength does not mean you don’t need people or you don’t need friends and family, no, it simply means to have a steady source where you draw from day in and day out, a source that is invested in you, a source that looks out for your best interest more than you do yourself, a source that loves unconditionally whose love is all the assurance you will ever need. The question is where do you draw strength from? or rather what is the greatest source alive?

‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’ (Phillipian 4:13).


Words (Death & Life)

Everyone has their definition of emotional and verbal abuse which are all similar in one way or the other but the important thing to keep in kind is that every person who has been emotionally or verbally abused in one way or the other can relate to these definition because it becomes personal to them.

The most painful thing about emotional and verbal abuse that people find hard to recover from is the false hope that comes with emotional abuse and the brutality of words that comes with verbal abuse. Some people would prefer to be hit than to be abused with words, they say the most painful things are the hurtful words uttered by those you love. It is like a set of hands on your throat driving you down into this dark abyss and as you go down, you don’t feel fear of the unknown, instead all you feel is this intense anger and pain. This kind of pain is worst than any kind because it is coming from that deep place no one knows, it is also coming from your mind, sometimes you feel like your head is too full and the voices are too loud that sometimes its difficult to catch your breathe.

Yes…. that’s how deep words and false hope can hurt a person. You wish you can be hard that you don’t feel anything but it is like going against your divine set-up which is impossible. You try but the next time, the pain hits  harder than before and you ask yourself why it hurts so much but your answers never satisfy you. The discrepancy between your expectation of people and their result is mostly the cause. They are people you love and you expect them to have your interest at heart but they turn around and do something horrible and its like your safe cocoon becomes unsafe and you become unsettled.

At a point, it is important to know when to stop or when to give up. Sometimes giving up does not mean you are a coward, sometimes it is the best thing for you to do in other to save yourself. When someone is trying to pull you into a dark place sometimes it is best to let go of the grip you have on that person and rise to the surface then somewhere along the line, that person will look up and realize how low they have sunk and how much they need to be rescued.

Emotional and verbal abuse are the worst kind of abuse because the weapon is mainly words and the reason they hurt so much is because words are spirit and a spirit can only relate with a spirit. These words go deep into your spirit and your mind and cause havoc. It is important to give yourself a positive self talk everyday because the same way words have destructive powers, they also have healing powers, this is why the word of God says death and life are in the powers of the tongue.

Know your Source: Key to avoiding confusion.

You say all the time, I want to change and you try your best to stay away from old habits and to construct new ones by listening to the right things, trying to accept the truth no matter how bitter it is, reading lots of good articles, books etc. However half way through all these, it gets too much because you feel like there is so much to know, so much to do and so much to change. The feeling of panic comes over you and you begin questioning if you can do this at all and this makes you question everything you have worked for, why? Its simply because you think the world is so confusing, it contradicts itself.

It is detrimental to think like that, do you know why? Because if everything was so confusing and contradicting, we would never have been able to get anything done, confusion has never created anything good, it only creates setbacks and the fact that a lot of things, inventions, ideas, gathering have been accomplished, shows that confusion can be kept under control.

There is the belief that the world is not in black or white, that it is a mixture of both, producing the color gray which is interpreted as neutral and this has lead to some opinions that there is no clear path between good and bad and that is where the confusion comes from. In psychology there is what we call schema, they are a pre-set of beliefs, framework of perceptions that govern how you assimilate or accommodate information and every person has this. When something comes that challenges your schema or in other words challenges your per-conceived ideas, it unsettles you and makes you doubt and if this doubt is not resolved, it leads to confusion because you are still searching for answers to satisfy you.

There is no relationship between light and dark, good and bad, there have always been a  line between these two, so just because we don’t see it does not mean it is not there. If good and bad could mix together then what is the point of having laws and justice systems to separate the two, why try so hard to prevent people from doing wrong if we think the world is neutral. Confusion convinces us that some of the things we see, hear and do are alright but are actually not.

The one who brings this confusion knows himself very well, he makes a very little innocent suggestion the he sits back and watches it play out. He plants a little seed of doubt, lie, fear and this gives birth to confusion, which is the ultimate deception because people who are confused are restless and desperately seeking for answer. The book of John 8:32 says, and you shall now the truth, and the truth shall set you free. People who are confused about something are looking for answers so they can be free from the doubts and overthinking but the only way to be set free from this is when you hear the right truth. When you are given a lie for an answer, you will be more confused because deep within you, your gut tells you that there is something more to be known.

Confusion can be avoided when you turn to the right source and the best source you can ever find is God. I have heard some people say that the bible contradicts itself and that they read and don’t know what to believe but I tell you today that God is not the author of confusion, he will never ever contradict himself with his words because his words are powerful. You may have proof that his word is indeed contradicting, but I would advise you to look carefully at your proof and ask the Holy Spirit to clarify what you don’t understand and you will see just how straightforward His precious words are!!!

What When Who & How?

via Daily Prompt: Cusp

I heard someone say that, ‘it is how you respond to a situation that makes it a problem for you or a resolved case’, and I didn’t understand what it meant until today. When something happens to you which may or may not be of your own making, you are moved to a difficult position. I like to call it the place of decisions as it is the place that shows what is really inside of you.

Among the definitions of the word cusp, I love the one which says that it is the dividing line or border between two conditions or categories. In other words, it is that deciding moment, the critical stage where you either succeed or fail. I used to be a chronic over-thinker, I would worry over anything and everything which resulted in me getting really bad migraines. Sometimes I would get so deep in my worries that I felt suffocated, almost as if I were losing my mind and I would feel this tightness in my skull that made me dizzy and I wouldn’t be able to sleep well. Whenever the tiniest bit of problem occurs, goodness me! my mind would immediately set to work and blow it out of proportion, so wide that I would feel like I have to overcome a mountain.

The reason my mind is able to do this is because I let it and when I realized that I control my mind and not the other way round, I felt so much better because when something happens to me or I make a mistake at home or at work, I don’t start thinking of the consequences or the way others would think of me or if I could solve the problem at all. I would stop my mind each time from getting out of control because the mind is like a child, if you loosen your grip on it, its going to run wild and cause chaos in its wake.

The best way to control your mind is to rest in the word of God, it works a hundred percent. When something is trying to spoil my day and my mind is about to go all wild, I start repeating what the word of God says concerning that situation and believe me it is not an easy task to do but the result far outweighs the trouble and there is always results because God himself said that he honors his word more than he honors his son and because His word never fails it is the ultimate resting place for us all.

So when trouble comes your way, keep your mind focused on what God’s word says and never listen to your emotions and feelings at that moment because they will be erratic and can only bring more trouble and while you are doing your best to stay on the word of God, He will move because of that and cause a change in that situation because now, you are not thinking or saying what you see but rather you are saying what you want to see in faith and if there is one thing that God works with, its Faith.

What they think (Labels & Tags)

via Daily Prompt: Label

Did you know that everyone in this world has more than one label to his or her name. A person who only has one label shows two things; they are stagnant or they run away from change.

I looked up the meaning of label and one word that stuck out was tag. A tag is anything used to identify or label a person or object. One thing that is constant in life is change and because we humans change, the labels we are given changes too from time to time. I always hear people say, ‘oh no I do not want to be tagged a lazy person’, or ‘she has been tagged, the school nerd’. A brilliant philosopher said that the thoughts of other people are so much and you do not have the power to know all of it, so the best thing is to ignore it and live your life. When we think about it, it is the truth; until you stop living your life according to the opinions of others, you will never be truly happy, do you know why?

The answer is that when you try to make people like you or have a good opinion of you by doing what they want, not everyone will love you, there will always be the haters who will label you in a bad way no matter what you do and when you try so hard to erase that label, worse ones keep coming up and the vicious circle continues, is that even worthy to be called happiness?

Another brilliant person said that when people do not understand what you do, they begin to understand why you do it. Also that instead of trying to carry everyone along, why don’t you just save your time by doing your thing and letting others follow you. So you have to live your life for you and when I say for you, I do not mean doing bad things and expecting everyone to support you, that is ridiculous.

In essence, the world will always label you good or bad no matter what you do, so it is pointless to try and get everyone’s opinion of you to be good but rather let your actions show them why they should either fall in line with their labels or fall out.


Daily Prompt: Massive

via Daily Prompt: Massive

Everything has to start from somewhere, it has to have a beginning and an end, a source from which it exist. There are two things we should keep in mind when going through life, and that is that no matter how big something is, it started from something small and also no matter how small something is, it has the potential to grow into something massive.

Take the example of smokers and drug addicts; at first was just one little taste which was harmless, then it gradually increased to another slightly bigger taste which was again harmless, then as time went on they keep pushing the boundaries of how much they could tolerate and before you knew it they couldn’t stop pushing themselves to higher limits; this is where addiction comes from.

This is how most big situations come to be; for example, on my birthday I was at a huge camp with lots of people I didn’t know. I told a close friend of mine and before I knew it, she told five people and before I could even comprehend what was happening, words had traveled far and the whole camp found out it was my birthday, they all gave me hugs and wished me well. Another example is a little baby who always got pampered by her parents, she was never allowed to do things on her own, she had never known hard-work and her parents did this because they had experienced hardship and didn’t want the same thing for her. The child grew up and became the world’s most spoiled brat and when she finally became independent, she turned her life into a wrecking ball and destroyed her family and her parents wondered how it came to this?

We think of a lot of things that can cause the most destruction but what we do not realize is that the most dangerous source of destruction is us humans. When we don’t take it easy and listen, we become like ticking bombs, which is detrimental to those around us. We complain of thieves, suicide bombers, kidnappers, etc, but what we do not realize is that these so called criminals began as babies.

As careless as we are most times, God gave us the responsibility of raising our children well and He even told us to remember him in everything we do and He will establish our ways (proverbs 3 vs 6). Raising children is not an easy job and it is not something that one can say they are ready for. We ought to be very careful and keep in mind that a baby is born with innocence, but that innocence can be broken and something really awful can grow in place of it in the long-run. So the job of parenting is not just dishing out all the love in the world, it also entails monitoring, gauging and then regulating.

It is important to not do everything in excess and it is also important to not overlook a lot of things or relax too much. After all the bible says to stay alert and the bible also says to not worry for anything; not worrying for anything does not mean overlooking everything because just when you start relaxing too much is when little problems pass by unnoticed and thereby begins to grow gradually.


Daily prompt; Marathon

Of all the types of races that there is, the marathon is the toughest. Now people say that not everyone can run a Marathon, well I say everybody can, but it is just a matter of your own time space. In a race, some people are in front, while some are in the back, what I learnt from this is that people have their own time spaces and according to the length of that time space, they move accordingly. This is what we see everyday in the marathon of life.

Whether we like it or not, we are all running a race, and it is called ‘the marathon of life’. In this race, everyone has their way of starting; some may decide to run, others to walk, others to jog, but the most important thing is to start the race. One very important factor in the marathon of life is Time. Time is the most complicated and yet fragile concept known to man, which is why the only person in control of it is God our father in heaven.

Time is of the essence people will say, which is very true; it defines how people run their lives. For instance, in a marathon race, some may start off fast with the aim of resting towards the finish line and another may start slow, with the aim of going fast close to the finish line. Both have their reasons but the most important, is their perception of time.

One of the things I admire about the word marathon is that it encompasses everything life is. The word marathon originated from the man who ran all the way from the battle field with the good news that they had won the battle. History says that he ran all the way and immediately after giving his news, he collapsed. History also narrates how the way was; it says that some parts were leveled and smooth, some were rocky, some were steep, some parts included climbing around a mountain. This is exactly how life is and so it is important for us to not be in a hurry to get things done because we might just fall for one of those steep hills if we are not careful.

It is important to take it easy in everything we do, his time space is not yours too, his time of getting something may not be your time, so take a chill pill and take each day as it comes. Plan ahead but not too far ahead that you forget your present. Don’t forget that the smartest way to acquire everything in the race of life, is to acquire that which will give you all of it and who is that? God Almighty.



Daily Prompt: Realize

via Daily Prompt: Realize

There are probably many explanations to the word, ‘realization’, but the one definition which stuck to me is that realization is knowing the answer to whatever questions that eluded you before. When you realize, it shows that you finally gained insight to something which you had problems understanding.

Another aspect of it is that when you realize something, it shows that you were thinking about that problem before the realization came to you. What I am saying is that you cannot know something without first giving it a thought. For some people, it comes immediately, while for others, it comes after sometime, when they are not thinking about the issue or situation.

Looking at the above paragraph, it is amazing how God wired our minds in such a way that it is able to handle a lot of information at the same time and still be efficient. This is the reason why scientist, even till this day, cannot understand how the mind works. When something happens and you do not have the answers immediately, you think on it and yet the answer does not come, so you let it go, thinking that it is one of those things that cannot be understood, whereas in reality, your mind still held on to it and that is why when you see or read something or are in a particular situation, all of a sudden, the answer clicks, it is always profound to the person.

One of the most profound realization I got was when I realized that the The Holy Spirit of God was not a bird, or a fire, or the wind but a person. When I realized this, it just revolutionized my life and I will tell you why. I was the kind of person who would cling so much to anybody who offers help to me. I would begin to idolize them in the sense that I would always go to them even if they need their space, I would always attribute everything they did to be about me. But it all began to change when I meet the holy spirit; the difference between him and us humans is that humans can only hang on and bear a burden for so long, after which they let go, but the Holy Spirit will never let go of you and I realized that he is the one I should be clinging to and only according to his direction, can I then depend on someone else.

The most important thing I realized since knowing him is that my joy does not come from another human, but it comes from Him and day by day he teaches, me even when I am being stubborn he still stays with me. He is someone very special to me and another thing I noticed is that my dependence on him, helped to reduce my dependence on others and to respect everyone’s boundaries.

Daily Prompt: Slog

via Daily Prompt: Slog

We have to slog through things if we are going to succed in life. I remember watching a snail crawl and thought how slow it is, but what I actually failed to see was that just because it was slow did not mean that it was not making progress in terms of moving forward. Another thing that struck me was how grounded its movements were, in the sense that it leaned heavily on the ground while moving.

The second feature which I mentioned (leaning heavily on the ground), showed me another thing, and that was its tendency to lean heavily on the ground, contributed to its balanced movement. It didn’t waver in its strides because it was well grounded. This is how we need to be in every aspect of our lives. We cannot have unstable feet in the our ventures, the best thing you can do is to stay were you are and gain more strength by engaging in more self-development, then move.

There is always good in everything, there is a reason why the word of God says we should see the good in everyone and everything. When we think of slogs, we think of how slow and slimy they are but what we don’t see is that they are slow but sure, they are not as smart as a lion but they are not moving toward extinction like the lion species is. We can take these good character of a slog and make it our own.

Don’t you think it would be awesome if we begin to learn things from everthing around us, it will make you so much better than you are right now.

Daily Prompt: Elegant

via Daily Prompt: Elegant

Everything about the word elegant, screams pleasing and good. The word elegant, has many synonymns to it, but the one that jumped right at me is, ‘simple‘. When something is simple, it is always pleasing and wonderful. Some people might think of simple things as things that are common, cheap, not much about it, but the truth is that it is the simplest things of life that are the greatest.

Think about the life of a king and the life of a servant, whose life is simple? Think of an iphone and samsung, which one is simpler to repair? Now think about happiness and riches, which one is the simplest to achieve. If you really look closely at these questions, you will discover that the simple things of life are the most comfortable.

Another thing to have in mind is that everybody will like an elegant person who is simple because they have nothing to hide and that is one of the virtue lacing in people. We say we are simple but who we are in our rooms, is not the same as who we are when we are outside. If you lead two lives like that then work to eliminate it by taking the one which you really are and ask the Holy Spirit to modify it and make it better, so you can then show it to the would.

Simple people crave complex things and complex people crave simple things. The ways of the spirit is simple, but the ways of the flesh is complex in the sense that the flesh will make you want things you can’t have which would result in you taking the wrong means to get it, such as lies and there is nothing more complex than lies because it is like a maze; you keep moving until you trap yourself. One the other hand, the way of the spirit is simple because all you have to do is follow him and his ways are never wrong, it does not have lies, people can see it for all you care and you won’t mind because you know in your heart that you have nothing to hide.